I'm in love. I long to be with Sasha. Oh, how beautiful that woman is. I first saw her at Locos Tacos. I held the door open for her and it was simply magnificent. I've been feeling kind of bad lately, though. Cornjulio's tail has been sagging. It just drops down and he looks terrible.
I feel that this could be my fault. When theSouthernn Living writers came in to take pictures, Cornjulio got nervouse and peed all over the kitchen. The writers laughed and I laughed. I think I made Cornjulio feel that I don't love him anymore. I've also been hanging out with Sasha quite often, leaving him home alone.
Cornjulio gets jealous sometimes when I'm hanging out with my human friends. I thought I could wait a little bit longer until he died and then I could get my life together. But he’s not dying as soon as I thought, and I figure I should start my life at some point, especially now that I’ve seen Sasha. Cornjulio looks up at me and growls. “But Jamie, you know this isn’t right. I’m your one true love”. He’ll have to deal.